Yowsers.

freaks.

Courtney Love's Big Words

photo by Jeff Vespa

Main Entry: ex·pro·pri·ate
Pronunciation: ek-'sprO-prE-"At
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -at·ed; -at·ing
Etymology: Medieval Latin expropriatus, past participle of expropriare, from Latin ex- + proprius own
1 : to deprive of possession or proprietary rights
2 : to transfer (the property of another) to one's own possession

Una vez que te quise, fue por el pelo.

"Respectfully, sir -- you know we're always respectful -- in your statement this morning with President Hu, you seemed a little off your game, you seemed to hurry through your statement. There was a lack of enthusiasm. Was something bothering you?

President Bush answered, ""Have you ever heard of jet lag? Well, good. That answers your question."

Clearly, he's a fucking idiot.

Gross

The cat with two tongues.

A Congress of Boobies.

yes, that's brad pitt and frank gehry.

I think this may be the best Santa Barbara Craigslist posting ever... forget about the weird dude that wanted to give lady rubdowns. You want body powder? You got a dollar? Click here.

Not again...

MAKE IT STOP
MAKE IT STOP

Spring Forward, Fall Back.

Being awake this early on a Sunday does have its advantages... I think of things I always wonder about but have never heard anyone give a satisfying response to or things I forget about almost as quickly as I thought of them. For instance, why do we have daylight saving time? It really seems weird to set your clocks back an entire hour (I do like the extra hour of sleep) and then set it forward in the springtime (I hate waking up earlier)-- it's like time indecision. But after doing some nice research on one of my favorite websites, Wikipedia, I have a partial answer (the whole answer is long, convoluted, and involves too many countries and laws to mention here).
Interestingly, Ben Franklin, in a letter to some important literary types wondered why people didn't go to sleep earlier and also wake up earlier. This was a long ass time ago. Afterwards, some freak took it on himself to get a law passed that put this in effect in the UK. The British governement was opposed to the idea. Naturally, the Germans thought it was great and instituted this stupid practice during WWI. The changes and other places this spread to can be read about here, if you care.
Some people think DST is great because we conserve more energy and adjust sleep patterns to maximize the number of hours spent awake with the number of hours of daylight. I guess this increases physical activity and "productivity".
Succinctly, I think it sucks.

Aww little Cletus Cheeto Spederline is on his way out.

Bless.

A battle of epic proportions

Who loves really good bad jokes?

Q: What do you call a boomerang that
doesn't come back?

A: A stick.

Victoria Beckham

AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MAKE IT STOP!!

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

When Mike Meyers gets uncomfortable, he rubs his eye.

Thank God for Kanye West on NBC last night. Sure, he's prone to freak outs, but his two most recent media excursions-- first about sexual intolerance and now about the obvious racism that is ruling the Katrina relief effort (see above Mac friendly link)-- have been awesome... hands down. Not to say that this tragedy shouldn't be viewed without race as a filter, it's pretty obvious that if this happened in a predominately white or affluent area that the lack of real support wouldn't have happened. On top of this, why the fuck is it taking so long to help these people out? In the overall scheme of stellar responses to tragedies on the part of a nation, this rates as the worst.
Also, if you haven't heard about the Mayor of New Orleans' radio interview or Anderson Cooper's AWESOME response during another interview, check out this link to both from Wonkette, courtesy of Gawker.

Dood.

Sometimes I feel like I'm behind the times on stuff... like the other day when I watched Jurassic Park for the first time and couldn't understand why I'd never seen it before. That's right. The first one. Hadn't seen it. Ok. Anyway, when I came across these the other day, I was wondering why I hadn't heard of them before. Or even this (way better than sticking asinine bumper stickers on other people's cars, right?). Who wouldn't love to give either as a gift?

She keeps the Moet and Chandon in a pretty cabinet

I nearly exploded yesterday when My Super Sweet Sixteen came on after Laguna Beach. I had no idea the new season was starting. And while the subject of the episode-- Sophia-- seems to have arisen straight from the depths of bitch hell, I loved the whole episode, even though my jaw was open the whole episode in feigned horror. How do kids get like that?


Is it the result of really, really shitty parenting?

Spending too much time on boats?

I guess I'm totally mystified by her obsession with power (she brings it up whenever she gets a chance to talk about herself or the party... nearly the whole time); it seems as if she's mostly interested in bullying, not "power". The scene with the invitations was mortifying... I highly urge any of you have not seen it yet to Tivo that shit or find out when MTV will re-air the episode.

Her MySpace profile. She seems normal enough?

Catch Up

I really, really love magazines. The stacks and stacks in my living room attest to this. While I have become increasingly more picky about the sort of magazine I subscribe to, I am certainly not above a magazine like Instyle. Laugh all you want... I like the full length shots of starlets wearing really, really fancy dresses. I didn't realize that with the subscription, an additional magazine called Instyle Makeover would come along in the mail. Whatevs... pictures of the same old haircut, same old matchy matchy bag and shoe combinations are abundant. In the back, however, is a section that covers--to the point of smothering--the before and after phenomena of tools and creams that promise the usual: bigger boobs, fuller lips, and more shapely brows. However, this covers two "beauty items" I shudder to think of in use: glue-on toenails courtesy of Revlon (pg. 135 for those of you following along), clip-on teeth that aren't for Halloween from Manhattan Dental Arts (pg. 137). While I can see the use of both-- someone has to use these, right?-- the clip on toenails seem downright clownish and the clip-on teeth are almost like a venture into dentures.

Remember this kid from that MTV show "I Want A Famous Face"? He and his brother wanted to look more like Brad Pitt. Voila.

Shut the fuck up. Fantasy Fashion League? You mean like Fantasy Football without the footballs and with clothes?

Does your cat lazily paw at cupboards, looking for snacks? Does he lay around all day, taking naps and stretching? Get that tub of lard in shape with CATAGILITY.

Worst post ever?

So, the new season of Laguna Beach started on Monday... I'll admit I am more than entranced. Considering I obsessively watched the show and nearly every marathon since last year, you can imagine how excited I was on Monday. But my excitement on Monday couldn't hold a candle to breaking news on Gawker this past week... Lo has a webshots page. Her handle is sexybiatch101. She seems to have a penchant for kissy faces, sunglasses, beverage, and fake names.

McDonald's Trip Planner.

Dressing to enhance your portrait; more important than eating breakfast in the morning? Debateable.

This thing lets you record anything you want onto vinyl. Nice.

Kid on the right...

It could have been a brilliant career.

While some people might accuse me of being cold and elitist, there are certain written grammatical atrocities that make me wince. For instance, the improper use of several words: they're, their, and there (and there's and theirs for that matter). You may be thinking, "Who the hell gets those three confused?" Who cares? On with my point...

They're:
This is only to be used in the case of a conjunction the word they and are. So, if you can break the two words out, use they're. For instance:
They're expecting she'll do Stevie Wonder impersonations all night.

Say you're referring to that same group, only in the past tense. Use the two words separately and spare your reader the confusion:
They were expecting her to do Stevie Wonder impersonations all night, but realized she was more interested in visiting with the cat.

There:
For the sake of ease and clarity, let's just say that there should be used to 1. refer to something that is off in the distance or 2. to establish a beginning for your sentence.
Example 1- It's over there, you ghastly beast.
Example 2-There once was a man from Nantucket...

Their:
If it belongs to at least two people (sometimes not literally), it is theirs. Really, this extends to most everything you could think about. But, if you find yourself getting into the habit of using their as a neuter reference, stop. I'm serious. It is soooooo annoying. Use his, him, her, or hers. Really. Now onto my examples:
Their smelly, dirty dog infested the carpet with fleas.
Their loud hippie songs made my insides hurt.

God bless.

For those of you as annoyed as I have been since Page Six set up their horrible registration page that oftentimes just does not work, I offer you the blog version... all the same shit, without the registration and with pictures! I updated the sidebar, too.
Speaking of updating sidebars, what the hell happened to Luxury Fashion Forum? I feel like I have been robbed of really petty gossip and totally obsessive discussions on Balenciaga handbags. Blah blah blah.
And while I think this is the work of a totally obsessed, overly anxious dude, I have to point you all in the direction of this Beckham nude. The attention to detail is truly amazing-- except the herpes... they missed the herpes.