For your viewing pleasure...

I offer you Cat Porn... of the Tabby Persian variety.

One more reason to love Bill Murray.

He traded his autograph (which he signed on a $4 bootlegged copy of The Life Aquatic) for a plaque from 2000 that a gravedigger picked out of the trash for him in Roanoke, VA just the other day. Don't believe me? Read the link.
For those of you who haven't heard my most favorite Bill Murray story ever (I think I heard it on TAL), let me share: some guy was walking through Penn station or something and spotted Bill Murray walking along. He stopped him under the pretenses of getting an autograph or something when Bill pulled him into a headlock and gave him a fierce noogie. When the guy got out of the noogie, Bill leaned over and whispered in his ear, "No one will ever believe you," and walked away. Beautiful.

Tlon, Uqbar, or Orbus Tertius?

I've been biting my tongue about this for the past few days.... maybe you've heard of the man who accidentally got a nail stuck in his head? When I first heard the story, I was thinking, "how do you get a nail in your head and not know about it until you go to the dentist?" Was there no blood? Did it go in through his nose and magically hit the "no memory" epicenter in the brain? Did he have his mouth open while gaping at the ceiling? I hope that you noticed, also, in the linked article that the neurosurgeon attending Lawler's injury noted that this is the SECOND time someone has gotten a nail in the head and not noticed. I want to know how they didn't note his remarkable resemblance to famous-but-I-don't-really-know-why phone sex addict Colin Farrell.
Phineas Gage was another guy that got something stuck in his brain... and he wound up being a really, really big jerk.
Speaking of big jerks, I love the news that Spiderman has turned into a great big fatso.

Is sounded even a word?

Have you ever wanted to make your own font? Pretty awesome, except for the part where the main piece of software you need costs $349. I know. If you're a student, you maybe have a more affordable option seeing as you can get it for $125. Or you could always make one at Fontifier for a reasonable $9.

There was an episode on This American Life a while back about the man who really wanted to revolutionize television by creating a tv channel that was dedicated to Puppies.... all the time. His vision had nothing to do with still images of puppies with lite rock playing in the background... he had actual video footage of puppies in action with pleasant music in the background. That episode of TAL made it pretty clear the man could never get the channel syndicated on TV, but now it's on the interweb.

Put the pipe down, Rita.

All Warm and Fuzzy.

In tiny baby and fluffy kitten news, I discovered these really, really awesome toys before I got sick in Japan: Hidamari no Tami. They were designed for people who work in offices all day who need to relax. You are supposed to put business cards on them (seeing as business cards are incredibly important in terms of status and recognition over there. I just like them because they may be the most awesome adult toy ever created. all it does is bobs its head side to side in the most gentle, ambient way. Since it is solar powered, it will run constantly... you will never get sick of it. I ordered one off of Ebay. I'm still waiting, Mr. Hong Kong.

Did you know you can record shit with your Ipod? That you could actually get music off of your Ipod? Or maybe that you could change the GRAPHICS to something as obvs as Hello Kitty (maybe a pic of Kim Jong Il or Jake Gyllenhall is in order)? Hmm? Are you fully paddling your pud?

Have you ever pondered the inner workings of the call girl industry circa 1998?

For those of you wondering what Brad has been up to since he and Jennifer stopped getting matching highlights, I offer you this: Brad Pitt at the Orange Bowl... totally stoned.

Liquid Generation. I could spend hours playing "Whose Boobs" (I'm really good!). Or staring down Rodney Dangerfield.

Dear Wes,

I saw Life Aquatic on the 26th. And while I was thrilled with the gun fight scene the most, I have to question the Jaguar Shark scene. Seriously, man. Sigur Ros? Nothing against them, I actually like listening to them every so often. While your movies have made so many songs that much better for me, ie "2000 Man" in Bottle Rocket, "Here Comes My Baby" in Rushmore, and "Lullabye" in the Royals-- or any song in there, for that matter...-- you ruined that Sigur Ros song for me. I can't even think of the name of it off the top of my head since it is written in that fake language anyway. Everything else in the Life Aquatic was so so nice. But Sigur Ros? That would be like busting out Neneh Cherry in the middle of Winged Migration. Quite simply, it is uncalled for.
Also--why didn't Steve kill the shark? Like maybe he could have punched the shark in the nose and killed him with a big sharp metal thing. In the eye or something. I hear sharks hate being hit in the nose. I also thought that Steve and the preggo journalist should have been the only ones in that weird claustrophobic submarine... it would have been more symbolic, you know? Like, even though Cate was fully not preggers with Ned's baby, she could have been in Steve's mind so then it would be all about the future, and not about how many people were on the Belafonte. Maybe Ned would have been a symbolic fetus. Maybe I'm full of shit. Either way, I've got major, major beef with that scene. Everything else was impeccable.

I still love you. I always will.

Sincerely,
charles

Trouble.

For those of you that believe that downloading music is wrong, I apologize in advance. I finally got my hands on a piece of software I'd heard so much about on a funny cd I got that came with a totally geeky Mac magazine: Audio Hijack Pro. Let me tell you... I've wasted most of today using this program to burn all kinds of things off of streaming audio type websites-- again, my apologies to those of you with a conscience. If you get it and don't register it, it'll start fuzzing out whatever you are recording after 10 minutes... if you do register it (your choice of the Pro version or the regular version) it, obvs, won't do that. I got the Pro version which nicely integrates all the audio crap I burned into Itunes instantly.

Also, I don't mean to get all vigilante and shit, but if you read this and live in California (a nice big chunk of you) please take a look at the Megan's Law website I put up under the links bar. It will show you grodo child molester types that may live around you. It's good info to know, especially if there are kids in your neighborhood, or if you care about things like this (hi!). I just found out there is a really old sodomizer/child molester that lives 4 houses down from me. The site does not list dates of abuse, but it does have pictures. You can search by zip code, city, school proximity, etc. Be sure after you enter the search parameters that you hit the "View Listing" button as opposed to "Enter" otherwise you will get a blank page with total numbers as opposed to the actual information.

I would love to ask the person who animated this what they got paid and how hard they laughed when they reaized what they would have to do: Peenimation!. via Lindsayism

Alias; New season begins January 16th.

Either she's pregnant or Ben Affleck gave her syphillis.

Meow Meow Meow

I think prison is dulling Martha's decorating abilities. Paper cranes for Christmas? That's like sending your sister to ribbon cutting opening for a club that is named after you. It's too funny.

Also, I'm confused.... wasn't it about three years ago that some dude proposed to Lala during a New Year's MTV thing? Or was it Carmelo then, too?

Stapleless staplers via boingboing; so hot right now.