Cereality. Imagine being able to get a fat bowl of cereal any time you'd like. obvs, if you were at home you could get that shit all day... I mean if you were taking your lunch break or wandering around town. You could mix them up, add toppings (hi bananas), and pay a nice person wearing pajamas. Apparently, they make cereal shakes--disgusting-- but they also offer cereal to go in a leakproof container, which is totally radical and fully amazing. Should one open here in lovely Santa Barbara, I would gladly forsake In N Out in favor of Cocoa Krispies all day long. I was thinking about how excited I would be if they opened some stores up in airports. Especially SFO, seeing as I spend so much time there during layovers. durrr.

Rate My Kitten.

Maybe you haven't seen NME's Cool List CD? Maybe you could? Or maybe you should streamThe Bravery?

And when I thought that the China hole toilets were bad, I learned about Indian toilets (via boingboing). I especially like the electric showers... there's nothing like standing in a pool of water and playing with electricity.

I LOVE LINKING!

Baby girl, you so beautiful.

IM RULES!

Ron Burgundy: dude
Ron Burgundy returned at 11:13:09 AM.
Ron Burgundy: DUUUUDE
Ron Burgundy: http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96781308/K=lil+jon/v=2/SID=e/l=VDP/SIG=
11qba3i8o/*-http%3A//www.blarfy.com/files/movies/newsDrunkWoman.wmv
Ron Burgundy is away at 11:41:13 AM.
CHARLES: I do that all the time
Auto response from Ron Burgundy: Jesus told me not to talk to you.
CHARLES: in fact I'm known for beating up newsmen
CHARLES: newsmen and women
CHARLES: Im an equal opportunity bag thrower
CHARLES: or newspersdon abuser
CHARLES: this is so going on my blog

Get off the pooter, folks

With all of my recent food related excitement, for the first time in a long time (about 7 years), I found myself completely uninterested in getting on the internet. Although I could hardly say the respite was relaxing, (the closest sentiment was a horror), this article suggests that perhaps we could all use a little break from the internet. Whether yours is food poisoning related, an act of God, or for reasons that are beyond me-- that you simply would not want to read whatevs, I dare you try it.

Sadly, I had no encounters with any of the hole style toilets in China. I did, however, have the distinct pleasure of staying at one of the largest compunds in all of Guangzho-- The Clifford. The enormity of the place is strange in comparison to the general layout of Panyu City in general. The Clifford features a major hotel (I would imagine it is a 4 star by Chinese hotel standards), luxury high rise apartments, a major hospital (about 15 stories high), a school, more restaurants than you can shake a stick at, a zoo, regular old apartments, grocery stores, clothing stores, electronics stores, and a million people. I'm serious. All in a gated compound off the side of a highway that seems to be under permanent construction. Oh, I forgot, The Clifford War Games area... yes-- you can shoot fake guns at one another while you crawl through bushes and terrain near the lake on the property.

Have I told you lately

Before I started puking up my sushi dinner from yesterday (I think it was the sea urchin), I had been trying, in vain, to get a picture of the toilet sprayer in action. As I've said before, all of the toilet action takes place when there is weight on the seat... being that the spray erupts from the toilet bowl itself in an upward trajectory, I have attempted to get a profile picture of the butt fountain in action to avoid getting wet. So far, my attempts have been fruitless. I tried putting my foot on the seat, standing on it (I would definitely have gotten a spray but I chickened out since I didn't want wet pants), and holding my breath hoping for a miracle. No luck. Just puke. I must say, on its way up, Miso tastes like shit. I can only hope you will settle for this pic of instructions on what not to do on the toilet. Please notice, I have put the toilet in dire danger of cracking seeing as I was standing on it. I might have caused some injuries.



I also took the liberty of thoroughly creeping out other people in the women's restroom at Seibu (a ginormous department store) by taking a picture of this even more user intensive toilet, replete with "Powerful Deodorizer". I didn't push it because I didn't know if the deodorizer was for the air or for butts. I must say, though, repeatedly pushing the "Flushing sounds" button in there was pretty funny in a kindergarten sort of way. I didn't play with the volume button so I didn't get a sense of how loud you could get that shit going.



Also, please note this toilet disinfectant... so much more reassuring than our run of the mill paper guards.



I really should have taken a picture of the women in the bathroom who were startled to see me walking out of the stall after seeing flashes going off. Just wait until I get to China and can take more pictures of the holes in the floor.

as seen in harajuku

So, I'm in Japan and obvs, I have like the worst case of jet lag. I was out today in Shibuya and Harajuku staring at feet and going into little hole in the wall sneaker shops... when lo, I saw this freak mask in front of one of the 80 vintage shops. Seriously. He's got nips on his cheeks. So fucked. I had to check with other people I was with to make sure I wasn't hallucinating the teats. Nasty.

Lindsay Lohan

Total blazer. No wonder she's so exhausted.

It explains so much.

Prince Charles Reminisces About his love of soggy, wife-cheating, emotionally distant Cereal.