26.8.04
22.8.04
21.8.04
GOD BLESS AMERICA
I love double doubles like I love babies-- a lot. There's a story I could tell here about just eating there, but I will refrain. It would be pointless. It would be long. It involved french fries and the drive through.
I was thinking last night about this post and how much it sucked. So I'm adding some very special information.
The secret menu
Animal Style: bun is toasted, mustard is added, onions are grilled, has more of that delicious sauce, extra pickles (personal fave). You can also order your fries animal style-- it's a little much, but my brother loves them.
Protein style: burger is wrapped in lettuce... for those of you on a diet, or the wheat intolerant (hi!)
Wish burger: a veggie burger for you cow lovers
Flying Dutchman: Two pieces of meat and two slices of cheese. Is that all you ask? It is. That is all. Meat and cheese.
Double double: two patties, two slices of cheese
Four by Four: four patties, four slices of cheese (it's intense)
Five by Five: I have heard of this being ordered and actually finished. It makes my stomach hurt.
Two by Four: two patties, four slices of cheese. You really have to love cheese if you order this because it is everywhere. I think it's disgusting. I hate too much yellow cheese. It's like runny poop. blech.
Grilled cheese: Like a hamburger without the meat.
Well done fries: extra crispy! I have to mention that In N Out fries don't taste like french fries anywhere else. They cut them right there and fry them in vegetable oil. They are incredibly fresh. I think I prefer the kind that would clog up my arteries. The In N Out fries take some time to love.
and the shakes.....
Neopolitan: They mix up chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry just for you. These shakes are made out of real ice cream. They are amazing. I judge the quality of shakes by the taste, obvs, but most importantly by the headache you get from trying to get that shit through the straw. If I have to give up and use the straw like a spoon, WE HAVE A WINNER!
The story behind In N Out is fairly fantastic: it began in 1948, remains a family owned, privately held company, and they grind their own beef in their own facilities and their own drivers drive the beef, tomatoes, bread, lettuce, cheese, ice cream to each location every day. I heard from a very reliable source (a friend at one of his lectures) that when he does eat fast food, he only eats at In N Out. Their employees also wear super cute outfits and many of them seem to be blonde. Very interesting. This could just be a California thing (all In N Out locations are in California, except a couple new spots in Arizona and Nevada (Las Vegas hello).
I was thinking last night about this post and how much it sucked. So I'm adding some very special information.
The secret menu
Animal Style: bun is toasted, mustard is added, onions are grilled, has more of that delicious sauce, extra pickles (personal fave). You can also order your fries animal style-- it's a little much, but my brother loves them.
Protein style: burger is wrapped in lettuce... for those of you on a diet, or the wheat intolerant (hi!)
Wish burger: a veggie burger for you cow lovers
Flying Dutchman: Two pieces of meat and two slices of cheese. Is that all you ask? It is. That is all. Meat and cheese.
Double double: two patties, two slices of cheese
Four by Four: four patties, four slices of cheese (it's intense)
Five by Five: I have heard of this being ordered and actually finished. It makes my stomach hurt.
Two by Four: two patties, four slices of cheese. You really have to love cheese if you order this because it is everywhere. I think it's disgusting. I hate too much yellow cheese. It's like runny poop. blech.
Grilled cheese: Like a hamburger without the meat.
Well done fries: extra crispy! I have to mention that In N Out fries don't taste like french fries anywhere else. They cut them right there and fry them in vegetable oil. They are incredibly fresh. I think I prefer the kind that would clog up my arteries. The In N Out fries take some time to love.
and the shakes.....
Neopolitan: They mix up chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry just for you. These shakes are made out of real ice cream. They are amazing. I judge the quality of shakes by the taste, obvs, but most importantly by the headache you get from trying to get that shit through the straw. If I have to give up and use the straw like a spoon, WE HAVE A WINNER!
The story behind In N Out is fairly fantastic: it began in 1948, remains a family owned, privately held company, and they grind their own beef in their own facilities and their own drivers drive the beef, tomatoes, bread, lettuce, cheese, ice cream to each location every day. I heard from a very reliable source (a friend at one of his lectures) that when he does eat fast food, he only eats at In N Out. Their employees also wear super cute outfits and many of them seem to be blonde. Very interesting. This could just be a California thing (all In N Out locations are in California, except a couple new spots in Arizona and Nevada (Las Vegas hello).
16.8.04
13.8.04
don't stop until you get enough
I LOVE looking at before and after shots of Plastic Surgery patients. Especially when they are celebrities. Especially when those celebrites are Paris or Britters. Or better yet, when the shots are of Britters' gajonkas. Or better yet, movies about Britters' ever growing and shrinking gajonkas (probs NSFW). Is this sick and wrong? I can't stop.
Last week in Vegas, all my time "out" was spent alternating between three things: eating, trying to figure out who the hookers were, and counting fake boobs. I also counted face lifts, but not nearly in the same quantity as the boobs. Wow, people. So many. So MUCH. Like big big, each one the size of my head big. But maybe it was just Vegas. That place is like the twilight zone. Except for Bouchon. That place is off the chain.
Last week in Vegas, all my time "out" was spent alternating between three things: eating, trying to figure out who the hookers were, and counting fake boobs. I also counted face lifts, but not nearly in the same quantity as the boobs. Wow, people. So many. So MUCH. Like big big, each one the size of my head big. But maybe it was just Vegas. That place is like the twilight zone. Except for Bouchon. That place is off the chain.
9.8.04
4.8.04
vegas; its not all donkey shows, hookers, and boobs.
This morning I woke up to some dude in a fishermans hat and a tank top in a harness violently slamming into my hotel room window. Stupidly, I decided to leave the blackout shades on my windows open so I could get a better view of the strip. So I got a real clear view of this dude's face slapping against my windows early in the morning, and I freaked out. Like full on leap out of bed freak out. I guess those plank like contraptions with two harnesses that you stand on are no longer popular here in Vegas when you wash the 22nd floor windows. This guy had on a single harness around his waist, like he was going to rappel down the side of the building. I called down to the front desk after the fourth or fifth slam and asked them about the man (I hadn't seen the squeegee yet); the chick on the phone went, "Um... yeah. We wash our windows. " Hi fancy hotel, TELL YOUR GUESTS ABOUT THE 7 AM NON-UNIFORMED WINDOW WASHERS THAT DON'T HAVE SQUEEGEES. I half expected him to whip out some plungers to suction cup himself the window and beat his head against my window some more. Seriously.
Later, I was watching tv, reading a magazine, and having breakfast (best to do all three at once, obvs). I was chewing on some eggs and reading about the Olsen twins whe I heard a familiar voice.... a girl I went to college with a while back. There she was on the TV screen, clicking away on a computer, talking how she talks, and showing the most fucked up, hilarious thing I've seen on network television. She was demonstrating the skills she had apparently learned at a local technical college: how to superimpose a man's face on a monkey head. The screen showed the gradual evolution (about 3 slides) of some dude's head into a hairy monkey face. Of best evs commercials, I would put this one in the top five because 1. I know the girl in it and 2. who goes, "Dude I want to go to that college where they teach you how to transplant human faces onto baboons. I'm going to make you Planet of the Apes, homie." Holler, I say. Holler.
I'm sure this week can only get better.
Later, I was watching tv, reading a magazine, and having breakfast (best to do all three at once, obvs). I was chewing on some eggs and reading about the Olsen twins whe I heard a familiar voice.... a girl I went to college with a while back. There she was on the TV screen, clicking away on a computer, talking how she talks, and showing the most fucked up, hilarious thing I've seen on network television. She was demonstrating the skills she had apparently learned at a local technical college: how to superimpose a man's face on a monkey head. The screen showed the gradual evolution (about 3 slides) of some dude's head into a hairy monkey face. Of best evs commercials, I would put this one in the top five because 1. I know the girl in it and 2. who goes, "Dude I want to go to that college where they teach you how to transplant human faces onto baboons. I'm going to make you Planet of the Apes, homie." Holler, I say. Holler.
I'm sure this week can only get better.
1.8.04
poor, poor holden. he would be so disappointed.
Does anyone else pay attention to the new, or maybe not so new, sidebar on Friendster detailing the "top books" in your personal network? When I first noticed it, I was dumbfounded by the book at the top of the list: Catcher in the Rye. I mean, obvs, everyone read it in junior high or high school and identified with Holden in all his miserable glory. I did. It was my favorite book in the same way as Are you there God, it's me, Margaret was when I was twelve. I don't mean to be an asshole about Holden. The book is awesome. I love J.D. Salinger and still count Nine Stories as a special fave-- a book I even buy as a gift. But come on; I'd say the average age in my personal network hovers around 25. Let's find a new favorite.
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