I LIKE TO TYPE LIKE OWEN MEANY TALKS

I've got a sick obsession with all things gastrointestinal. This extends beyond my own stomach and has gradually flowered into a mild and somewhat disgusting fascination with toilets. I get to travel a bit because of my job and I always find myself itching to take a picture of the toilets in foreign countries, particularly in China. I realize this is full on gross out, but I have to share.
I have come across VERY, VERY few "western style" toilets in the particular region of China I frequent. With the exception of the hotel I stay in, I have yet to encounter a toilet you can actually sit on. Mostly, they are "hole in the ground" style with a lever for flushing. I'm not sure what it is about this style of toilet, but they are truly the most gnarly of anything. Beyond the typical cleanliness issues you'd find in most public restrooms, there is the dreaded "splash back effect", and the strain on muscles you didn't know you have. Not to mention the lack of toilet paper. It can be painful. Or disgusting. One or the other.
On the other end of the toilet scale, there are the public restrooms in Tokyo that are like a full on potty party, no matter where you are. Their attention to cleanliness is mind boggling. They have managed to integrate the toilet, bidet, and hygenic linings into one beautiful toilet machine. It also makes sounds to disguise any sounds you might be making. You sit down and it makes sounds (one toilet in OIOI made chirping bird sounds, and another sounded like a waterfall) depending n what sort of sensor is on the toilet. Some are triggered by weight on the seat; others are triggered by a motion detector on the toilet itself.
I didn't try the built in bidet on any of the toilets because of my frightened jet lagged experience with the toilet in my hotel room
(I tried to make it work with my hands and wound up spraying the opposite wall with water with the hose that emerged from under the lid). I earnestly tried to build up the courage to use it, but I was a coward. I couldn't stand the idea of it. As you can see in the picture below, there are two butt cleaning options-- the "spray" which was more like a jet and the "bidet" option which looks like it would buoy you afloat the toilet itself in a forcefield of warm water. Should either become uncomfortable you not only have the option of lowering the water pressure, but also of stopping it completely, as evidenced by the red "STOP" button. Delightful.