What kind of name is Hudson, anyway?

Britney's truth: can you handle it?* That being said, I seriously cannot wait to see the show and Shar's response to it the very next day on the Insider with Pat O'Brien. oooooh.

"That guy has pee on his pants." Please read the epic interviw with Jay McCarrol, winner of Project Runway. Some more notable quotes: "did you see Sideways or read the new JT Leroy" and I'm like, what do you need that for when you can just sit outside and listen to some freak in a pickup truck listen to some weird Julio Iglesias music." Or how about when he meets the sister of one of the Proenza Schouler and says, after she informs him she has never received free clothing because they can't afford it, "That doesn't matter. If you made cookies for a living? Wouldn't you give your brother free cookies?" Google him for more fascinating revelations about what sort of things you wear when you are from the woods.

While I was reading this article about Renee Zellweger claiming that photographers slim her down in order to sell pictures, I laughed. I laughed because I'm an awful awful person. I also laughed because what sort of toucher upper would slim down her body and forget about her cheeks? Sorry. It's not nice. But I can't help it....

* Truth being the real nature of cheetos, and their crunchy and satisfying deliciousness. Yum!

meow meow meow

When I decided to go to college back east, there were some changes I was prepared for-- like the shitty weather and overzealous celebration of sunny days-- one of the things I wasn't prepared for was the sort of regional descriptive dialect that made me wonder what the hell everyone was talking about. Tag sales? Grinders? There is definitely other crap that I just can't remember right now... anyway, it seems like those "what the hell are you talking about" moments are few and far between now... As a matter of fact, until today, I haven't had one in a while.
All this time, when I would lay scarves and tiny tiny pillows and snacks on my fat cat, I always figured it was a sort of pet Jenga. Little did I know, this lovely practice of seeing how many lightweight things you can lay on your pet before it gets up is called Buckaroo.

putos putos-gali.

If, like me, you enjoy drawing pigs and also love personality tests, this is like the end all be all of pig drawing personality testing sites. Go here and draw some pigs to learn more about yourself.

skin conditions

Have you been following ANTM this season? Blah blah blah Michelle-- the bottle blonde with impetigo. Last episode, her impetigo really erupted and all of the girls freaked out and made up stories about how she had flesh eating bacteria-- the typical bitch girl type shit. The ANTM lj has a whole entry dedicated to it... and a link to this site with the most horrendous looking skin conditions I have ever seen. I'm serious. You'll maybe barf. For reals.

In other awesome UPN show news, Britney Federline and spouse are getting their own reality show. While this has potential to be the best thing ever, it could also be as horrible as that "we're married" show with Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra on MTV that got cancelled shortly after Dave got a colonic and asked the technician if she thought he was sexy.

Or worse, the piece of turd featuring Cameron Diaz called, appropriately enough, Trippin'.

Ice skating..... so hot right now.

Recent news about the change in AOL's instant messenger's rules and regulations-- basically, that they can read, sell, or do whatever the hell they want with your instant messages promises to leave millions of teenagers who IM about school, what a slut Anita is, and tests totally, totally, like freaked out.

I'm a huge fan of SmartWater and VitaminWater, but this shit makes me irritated. Borba? This is supposed to make your skin look better? Why not drink some fresh water and cut back on the greasy shit?

Try it.

Another amazing Myspace pic... Fight on, indeed.

Pirate Pig

Pirate Pig

smokin!

While we all can recognize that smoking is a dangerous, destructive, albeit semi-enjoyable horrendous habit that should be promoted under no circumstance, I couldn't help it. I had to post this... it's from a Japanese magazine called Boon. If you know what it says, please post in the comments.

I'm a Cuckoo

Read his diary. Download a song.

Yo no soy mentirosa.

Well, well, well. The Sun is now reporting that Brad and Jen are living together again. While this news is uninteresting because it has no rumored lesbian dalliances or mystery men in Greece, I have to give kudos to the Sun for never verifying their reporting... Like that story I linked to a couple of days ago about J. Lo. being preggo. They should seriously consider creating a tagline for their paper like how the NYT's is 'Without Friend or Foe," the Sun's should be "We just make shit up. Deal."

Michael Jackson is absolutely repulsive.

In weird monkey related news, yesterday morning on GMA, there was a story about a horrible attack on a husband and wife who were visiting their pet chimp at an animal sanctuary here in California. On Boing Boing, there is a monkey attack story that is a little intense. I knew a guy in college that got mauled by a monkey in a pet store, too. WTF is up with the monkeys?

While Myspace hasn't totally made me want to leave Friendster, what with all the grossness I encounter all the time, the friends of friends' photo albums are certainly amazing... take this little gem, for instance: a naked girl with a lit candle in the crack of her ass (it's actually quite brilliant).

Have I posted this already? Little kid music reviews.

Also weird, but full of potential: powdered lemon. Sort of like salt, but obvs, it's lemon. I don't even know where to start on this one. Totally amazing and special or totally dumb and weird? I can't wait to get my sample and dump it in my Coke. Go ahead... say it... I know you're thinking it.... D-O-R-K.

Courtney Love's big words

Corpulent cor·pu·lent
Pronunciation: -l&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin corpulentus, from corpus

: having a large bulky body : OBESE
- cor·pu·lent·ly adverb
Function: adjective

e.g.:
One could certainly explain Courtney Love's recent expansion into a more corpulent version of her former self as a sad marker of the end of an outside-of-Wendy's-boob-licking-era.

chugga chugga

Sort of awesome for those of us with epic mix tapes circa 1993-- a device that will convert all of your old tapes into digital files. All you have to do is plug this sucker into your computer and a tape deck and make an instant MP3 (or whatever digital format you want). Kind of sort of totally awesome.

I was so right.

Gizoogle: several years too late but pretty funny anyway.

Reach Stephen King @ freeway5@tmail.com

When I first read about Paris' Sidekick getting hacked and published on the internet, my first thought was, "how horrible for her." But then, I thought "I wonder who is in her phonebook?" And then I found this site. First of all, the phone numbers she has is astounding. Second, her notebook is full of some weird ass shit. Third, what is up with all the "Paris+Owl" and "Paris+skunk" pics with a smattering of full out girl/girl Paris+random pics? (NSFW)

Tune in Tokyo

I'm a HUGE Ebay fan... like I'm sort of obsessed with the site. Today, when I went to do my usual searches, I came across one of the most intriguing online games ever-- the Ebay treasure hunt. They give a totally bunk clue and if you find the auction that corresponds to the clue, you win $1,000. Sounds easy, but this sucker is a total bitch. I'm stuck on the "Associated with the Graduated Federal income tax" clue. Shit.

I see no knee injury

Preggo!

Quite possibly the finest V-Day cards in the country....

go to youyesyou and wince knowing Valentine's Day is tomorrow and your card just isn't that great.

OMG!!!!! My Super Sweet Sixteen!!!!!!!! ;)

MTV's new show My Super Sweet Sixteen could rapidly gain status in the Rich Girls/Made/Laguna Beach Hall of Fame. While I too, was dumbfounded by the episode with Jacqueline and Lauren's escapades and idiotic outlook on the reality of how much things cost and bad ideas ( We should totally get the Rolling Stones for our party!!!!), I was mostly fascinated by Lauren's messed up extensions, Pauly Shore popping up randomly (what was he doing there?) and Jacqueline's disturbing resemblance to Wyatt from Weird Science. You remember Weird Science, right? One of those 80's movies that was about total goons gettng laid? Right. Wyatt... the one who wore ladypants after he porked Lisa. It begs the questions: Jacqueline and and boy from weird science? Long lost relatives? In LOVE?

In order to develop this investigation, I had to do some serious IMDB research on Wyatt aka Ilan Mitchell-Smith. This research revealed that Wyatt does not have a daughter residing in La Jolla. Sad. But he does have a degree in Medeival studies and lied to his wife about his acting career. So there may be no blood connection between the two of them. But we can dream, right?



He thinks it's going to be awesome. I beg to differ.

This is pretty right on.... I am definitely a girl and lil goosechip is definitely a guy. Who knew you could tell these things by words you choose?

Potty Palooza... on its way to your town?

While I've always dry heaved whever I saw the shitting bear Charmin commercial, they've really taken gross out to the next level with their Potty Palooza-- a bus equipped with 27 toilets. That's right. A great big RV that 27 people can shit in all at once. Why, you ask? Because Charmin thinks it is a really, really good idea.

Nevermind the old adage of never crapping in an RV... somehow, it is ok to have a rolling bus of urine and feces hit up festivals with dancing Charmin poop bears to entertain you in line and your own personal smiling brand rep who will cleans it all up after you go. Gross, gross, gross.

The bitch is back.

Nicole Richie proves she really is a bitch when she tells Tori Spelling she named a rat after her. She and Paris are like Mean Girls Redux. Throw Lindsay into the mix, and you've got something really, really rotten.

Groder.

Say goodbye to constipation!

One of the many great things about Tokyo is the plethora of vending machines that sell tiny aluminum bottles of Coke and other cold beverages. They're on just about every street corner. In addition to tried and true beverages like Coke and orange Fanta, there is a bevy of "water". I stress the "water" part. See, there are water sorts of beverages sort of like our SmartWater (enhanced with electrolytes and shit) but I hear that it is a little more extreme than anything sold here in the US. I was warned, prior to my first trip about anything that was labeled "SWEAT". Apparently, anything labeled SWEAT or that has blue and white labeling... particularly Pocari SWEAT, would give you a wicked case of diarreah. Mind you, these are the drinks that are sold in nearly every vending machine and they look like regular old water. So either there are lots of people that aren't concerned about getting juicy on the subway or a whole lot of really constipated people. I wonder if anyone gets embarassed about having to buy one like how I would imagine most people would be when they buy Metamucil or prunes.


It seems to be very effective at vanquishing violet tones from your intestine. I imagine if you humored yourself with a bottle of Slaria and watched J. Lo and Marc Anthony's duet at the Grammy Awards, you could get the juices going in no time. I hear they're planning it acapella and Marc is going to wear tap pants.

For your viewing pleasure...

I offer you Cat Porn... of the Tabby Persian variety.