Courtney Love's big words

Corpulent cor·pu·lent
Pronunciation: -l&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin corpulentus, from corpus

: having a large bulky body : OBESE
- cor·pu·lent·ly adverb
Function: adjective

e.g.:
One could certainly explain Courtney Love's recent expansion into a more corpulent version of her former self as a sad marker of the end of an outside-of-Wendy's-boob-licking-era.

chugga chugga

Sort of awesome for those of us with epic mix tapes circa 1993-- a device that will convert all of your old tapes into digital files. All you have to do is plug this sucker into your computer and a tape deck and make an instant MP3 (or whatever digital format you want). Kind of sort of totally awesome.

I was so right.

Gizoogle: several years too late but pretty funny anyway.

Reach Stephen King @ freeway5@tmail.com

When I first read about Paris' Sidekick getting hacked and published on the internet, my first thought was, "how horrible for her." But then, I thought "I wonder who is in her phonebook?" And then I found this site. First of all, the phone numbers she has is astounding. Second, her notebook is full of some weird ass shit. Third, what is up with all the "Paris+Owl" and "Paris+skunk" pics with a smattering of full out girl/girl Paris+random pics? (NSFW)

Tune in Tokyo

I'm a HUGE Ebay fan... like I'm sort of obsessed with the site. Today, when I went to do my usual searches, I came across one of the most intriguing online games ever-- the Ebay treasure hunt. They give a totally bunk clue and if you find the auction that corresponds to the clue, you win $1,000. Sounds easy, but this sucker is a total bitch. I'm stuck on the "Associated with the Graduated Federal income tax" clue. Shit.

I see no knee injury

Preggo!

Quite possibly the finest V-Day cards in the country....

go to youyesyou and wince knowing Valentine's Day is tomorrow and your card just isn't that great.

OMG!!!!! My Super Sweet Sixteen!!!!!!!! ;)

MTV's new show My Super Sweet Sixteen could rapidly gain status in the Rich Girls/Made/Laguna Beach Hall of Fame. While I too, was dumbfounded by the episode with Jacqueline and Lauren's escapades and idiotic outlook on the reality of how much things cost and bad ideas ( We should totally get the Rolling Stones for our party!!!!), I was mostly fascinated by Lauren's messed up extensions, Pauly Shore popping up randomly (what was he doing there?) and Jacqueline's disturbing resemblance to Wyatt from Weird Science. You remember Weird Science, right? One of those 80's movies that was about total goons gettng laid? Right. Wyatt... the one who wore ladypants after he porked Lisa. It begs the questions: Jacqueline and and boy from weird science? Long lost relatives? In LOVE?

In order to develop this investigation, I had to do some serious IMDB research on Wyatt aka Ilan Mitchell-Smith. This research revealed that Wyatt does not have a daughter residing in La Jolla. Sad. But he does have a degree in Medeival studies and lied to his wife about his acting career. So there may be no blood connection between the two of them. But we can dream, right?



He thinks it's going to be awesome. I beg to differ.

This is pretty right on.... I am definitely a girl and lil goosechip is definitely a guy. Who knew you could tell these things by words you choose?

Potty Palooza... on its way to your town?

While I've always dry heaved whever I saw the shitting bear Charmin commercial, they've really taken gross out to the next level with their Potty Palooza-- a bus equipped with 27 toilets. That's right. A great big RV that 27 people can shit in all at once. Why, you ask? Because Charmin thinks it is a really, really good idea.

Nevermind the old adage of never crapping in an RV... somehow, it is ok to have a rolling bus of urine and feces hit up festivals with dancing Charmin poop bears to entertain you in line and your own personal smiling brand rep who will cleans it all up after you go. Gross, gross, gross.

The bitch is back.

Nicole Richie proves she really is a bitch when she tells Tori Spelling she named a rat after her. She and Paris are like Mean Girls Redux. Throw Lindsay into the mix, and you've got something really, really rotten.

Groder.

Say goodbye to constipation!

One of the many great things about Tokyo is the plethora of vending machines that sell tiny aluminum bottles of Coke and other cold beverages. They're on just about every street corner. In addition to tried and true beverages like Coke and orange Fanta, there is a bevy of "water". I stress the "water" part. See, there are water sorts of beverages sort of like our SmartWater (enhanced with electrolytes and shit) but I hear that it is a little more extreme than anything sold here in the US. I was warned, prior to my first trip about anything that was labeled "SWEAT". Apparently, anything labeled SWEAT or that has blue and white labeling... particularly Pocari SWEAT, would give you a wicked case of diarreah. Mind you, these are the drinks that are sold in nearly every vending machine and they look like regular old water. So either there are lots of people that aren't concerned about getting juicy on the subway or a whole lot of really constipated people. I wonder if anyone gets embarassed about having to buy one like how I would imagine most people would be when they buy Metamucil or prunes.


It seems to be very effective at vanquishing violet tones from your intestine. I imagine if you humored yourself with a bottle of Slaria and watched J. Lo and Marc Anthony's duet at the Grammy Awards, you could get the juices going in no time. I hear they're planning it acapella and Marc is going to wear tap pants.