WTF?

Primary reason why this didn't wind up being the iTunes or iPod commercial: it makes you feel like you're going to be killed in your sleep by a creepy puppet dictator.

It's vs. its

Let's settle it:

It's signifies a contracted version of two words, ie "it is" or "it has". Basically, if you can break out the contracted "It's" within a sentence, your usage is correct:
"It's already happened." becomes "It has already happened."
"It's not my fault." becomes "It is not my fault."

Its signifies a possessive... it's a possessive pronoun that implies ownership or involvement within itself. It is also a neuter way of saying his or hers. For example:
A team is only as strong as its members.

I will never ever forget the time my history teacher in high school called me out in front of the entire class because of my misuse of the words it's and its in my hastily crafted papers on Chinese history. While this episode is still fresh in my mind, it dawned on me the other day that despite that embarassing episode, I could not remember which was which.

Courtney Love's big words

Main Entry: ne·ol·o·gism
Pronunciation: nE-'ä-l&-"ji-z&m
Function: noun
Etymology: French néologisme, from ne- + log- + -isme -ism
1 : a new word, usage, or expression
2 : a meaningless word coined by a psychotic

In the same way Monica Lewinsky's surname became a neologism for blow jobs, getting a stranger to lick your breast outside of Wendy's will heretofore be known as "Pulling a Courtney."

Gross, sick, and disgusting

I've been sort of sitting on this link for a little while. I got it a couple of weeks back and was so dumbfounded, I just wasn't sure whether it was ethically irresponisble of me to post it or whether that line had already been crossed in Linklater's Slacker when Madonna's Pap Smear was being hawked on the street (you know that really happened). I came to a conclusion: as long as I don't condone it, it is maybe a little bit ok. Or basically, once I post it and really start feeling badly about it, I will take it down and post more about kittens. We'll see. You be the judge. And as far as I can tell, it is totally legit. Celebrity Skin... totally disgusting and affordable.
This however, is beautiful and FREE!!!
And while I'm on it, I have to post about the lady with the finger at Wendy's. As it turns out, her husband got it for FREE from a kid that lost his finger at a job site. I guess he owed the lady's husband $50. The fingerless kid's mom's response? "My son is a happy-go-lucky guy. He thought it was cute to show" the severed finger, Shouey said. "It's like a man thing." WTF?

Matthew Drudge, you are so epic.

J-E-A-L-O-U-S

Don't be jealous just beacuse my gato is better than yours.

Gruyere cheese smells like armpits.

Why is speech software so radical? While I used to spend a great deal of time on Lil Goosechip's original IMAC utilizing all of the really amazing voices that came standard n his Speech program, I think this new software takes the cake. See, it has names for different regional voices-- in both male and female forms-- and one might argue that the bevy of male and female "American" options relates directly to caucasian, latino, and african inflections. I challenge you to figure out which is which. I also would encourage you to have Rosa or Alberto swear in Spanish. And while the "Create a link" to this audio might seem like a fun thing to email out to people you know, it probably isn't the best idea considering the link expires within 5 minutes.

So sad.

This:

Leads to this:



How they met.

How to Blog properly.

Is there an online tutorial site that isn't written in Geek that I could read to understand how to fully develop my personal website into an homage to my obese cat, Simba? I'm serious. Everything I've read about registering, hosting, and FTP-ing a website is one of the most mystifying things I have ever tried to understand. It almost seems like everything I've ever read skips steps and I'm left wondering what the hell is going on. Anyone? Anyone? I've tried Webmonkey... the FTP thing is really what is totally discombobulating.


Also, check out this guy's website... soooo BEST!
Also, a quick little FYI.... Oprah is NOT a mom as she might have you believe from the clip. A friend of mine was at the taping and she is talking about her dogs.